Wardens Fourth Edition
Return to the Jungle - Stories
A look at what happened during and/or after Session 12.
Story - Press Conference - Professor Hebert Missing
Game Date: 1/4/2005
Location: San Francisco, California
As Prime climbed atop the stool behind the podium and looked out over his audience, his tail drooped with dismay. Not nearly as many reporters as he'd hoped had showed up at the press conference - and most of the ones that did were from the tabloid press! No matter, if he was going to find the Professor, he would need the support of the public and this press conference was the best idea he had now that the whole 'trying to build his own time machine' plan had turned out to be more difficult than he thought. Who knew that a solid grounding in temporal physics was required for that type of thing?
Prime took a small sip of his banana smoothie to clear his throat and began, "Honored members of the press, I'm here today with a heavy heart to announce a tragedy. It now appears that Professor Herbert, inventor of the Dynamic Evolution Acceleration Device, has been kidnapped during his expedition to the Amazon while in the process of harvesting the cosmic crystals that power the DEAD. It is now believed that a number of the crystals may have been taken from the site as well."
Prime paused a moment, then adds in a conspiratorial tone, "We suspect he is being held by the villainous organization known as the 'Grand Empire'. A number of their abandon bases have been found in this area and they are known to dominate the Amazon area. As for why Professor Herbert and the crystals might be of value to them, there are a number of possibilities. As you may, or may not, be aware, genetic testing has shown that humans evolved to their full super-evolved state, such as myself, are from a technical standpoint, nearly immortal. We don't age, get sick, quickly heal even the most grievous injury, and have the added bonus of super-intelligence. Add in the ability to wield vast cosmic powers and cosmic enlightenment, and you can see how such a state would be tempting to many people - particularly those near the ends of their normal life span. However, because of the nature of the process, it should be possible to 'interrupt' it prior to the end stage. Making available to the Grand Empire, the full gamut of human evolution and the vast array of paranormal powers that mankind will develop and eventually discard along the path of their evolution."
Prime waits a moment for the looks of incredulity to pass from the faces of the reporters before continuing, "However, the prospect of the Grand Empire being able to create an army of super-powered soldiers is not the most worrisome aspect to this theft and kidnapping. As some of you may be aware, the initial testing of the DEAD coincided with a temporal anomaly. Namely, several members of the Wardens and myself were hurled into the near future where ninety-nine percent of humanity had been wiped out. Anyway, the possibility exists that the Grand Empire may learn to use the stolen crystals, with Professor Herbert's aid, to develop a controllable time machine, such as the one used by the refugees to flee backwards from the doomed barren earth of the future."
Ignoring the increasingly persistent questions from the reporters, Prime concluded, "So, I'd like to request help from the public. Anyone who has knowledge of Professor Herbert's whereabouts, please call 1-800-NOT-DEAD. Thank you. Oh, alright. I guess I have time for a few questions."
A young woman in red leather rose from her chair and called out, "What's with that Knight guy? Is he some kind of wizard or time-traveler or just an SCA-freak like the rest of us?" before flashing her press pass to reveal she was Lucial Priss with the 'Medieval Times'.
Prime rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a few moments, 'There has been considerable speculation on that matter, Miss. I believe the theory that currently has the most credence is that he is actually an extremely rare form of vampire. Instead of being bitten by a vampiric bat to achieve his current state, he was actually bitten by a rather confused fruit bat. As such, he now requires a steady supply of Calvados to maintain his vampiric powers. Thank you. Next question?"
A young man in well-used cheap suit rose next. Clipped to his front pocket was a small card identifying him as Joey Smores with the University of San Francisco Foghorn, "You just said that humanity is going to be wiped out in the near future... Could you elaborate a bit?"
Prime looks worried a moment, "Well, no one has actually told me that any of this is classified, but I should probably check first before going into details. I'd suggest talking with Kitsune or Boost about it. They were around when the first group of refugees from the doomed future started showing up around here and know the entire story."
An older gentleman in a new charcoal suit slowly rose and asked in a quiet commanding voice, "If almost all of humanity is doomed on our current timeline, wouldn't the Grand Empire changing it be a good thing?" His press pass identified him as Randolph Wilbur Truss of the Historical Appreciation Society Monthly.
Prime blinked in surprise as he stuttered, "Er. Well. Um. Huh. I didn't think of that. I mean, democracy is a good thing, but in that future we went to, the only government that existed was a fascist state regardless. But, I think the general idea of the government is to change the future in such a way that freedom and most of humanity survive the bio-engineered plagues and rain of fire. Oh. Wait, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that... Conference is over. Thank you."
With that, Prime rapidly scampered out of the rented hall.
Record Last Changed Date: 6/24/2007
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