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Current Campaign Date:  1/26/2008   

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Wardens Chronicles

Wardens Fourth Edition Character Stories

The Visitors - Stories

Post-Session: 34

A look at what happened during and/or after Session 34.

Story - Revenge of the Gadgets

Game Date: 9/20/2006
Location: San Francisco, California

Who: Karex, Knight of Saint Michael, Eon (Lazarus)

Karex yawned and stretched his wings before hopping off the bed and splashing happily across the room to his closet, pausing for just a moment to peek into the adjacent bathroom chamber to verify that all the aquafiers were still releasing the maximum amount of water into his chambers. After he slipped on his Yrician coveralls he reached down and splashed a bit of water onto his face, then decided to just flop down onto the bedroom floor. He sighed when the water in the bedroom was barely over the tip of his snout. He had left the water running all night and there was still only a foot or two of water in the bedroom. He snorted in disgust at primitive earth technology.

The grumbling of his tummy reminded him that it was time for breakfast. As he walked over and hit the door switch, he called out, "Computer. Activate the water-retaining force field for the exit way. I'm going to breakfast."

The female voice of the computer barely had time to begin replying, "Request unrecognized. Please clarify" as the accumulated water poured out into the hallway.

Karex sighed, taking time to grumble in Yrician about living here being like having to bang two subatomic agitators together just to make a spark, before responding, "Fine. Computer, you are hereby instructed to adapt my chambers appropriately for residence by an amphibious life form. Oh, and instruct the palace servants to clean up this mess. I'm off to hunt down breakfast."

Karex stared at the strange boxes lining the break room walls. Tentatively, he called out, "Replicate an, um, Salmon. Please." When nothing happened he frowned. Perhaps they were manually operated devices. He fumbled at one of the smaller boxes until it popped open, but it appeared empty. Then he tried the larger two-doored box. The top let free a gust of cold air. He snuffled around until he found something wrapped in a shiny silver substance. He took a small bite, his teeth easily shearing through the aluminum foil into the frozen pork chop underneath. He chewed thoroughly for a while.

Perhaps one of these devices was a heater of some sort, he thought to himself. He began experimenting. The foil-wrapped pork chop came out of the dishwasher slightly less frozen and much wetter. The toaster seemed to work better - until dripping grease caused a small fire that panicked Karex into smashing it against the wall. Fortunately, the pork chop survived. The microwave seemed to work better, and all the spitting sparks confirmed that 'fire' was somehow involved. Karex assumed the heating process was complete when the microwave went dark and a single plume of black smoke rose from its vents.

This time prying the foil off, Karex happily munched on his hard-won meal before turning back to the still open freezer to resume his scavenging.

Karex punched the microwave's buttons with growing frustration. The machine, for some unfathomable reason, refused to heat the unidentified hunk of meat plundered from the freezer. Eventually, one of the palace servants gathered sufficient courage to approach and explain the rather unfortunate consequences of putting aluminum foil in a microwave.

Karex suddenly realized that through his overhasty actions he had damaged one of the Warden's primitive devices. A wave of shame washed over him. What an impolite guest he was being! He would have to do something to resolve this stain on his honor. Perhaps he could fix the device... as he was tucking the microwave under one arm, the helpful palace servant mentioned a wonderful earth custom known as 'room service' which, apparently, was available right from his bed chamber.

With yet another reason for haste, Karex headed to his rooms. He noted a group of the servants had a small pump device and a number of mops and appeared to be relocating the excess water in the hallway into a number of buckets. As one of his good deeds for the day, Karex stooped down and snorted up the remaining puddle, then sneezed it into several of the waiting buckets before re-entering his bedroom.

Setting the broken microwave down on the small desk, he called to the computer, "Room service. Platter of fish please and bring up the service manual for this microwave."

As he ate the first platter, he read through the thoroughly incomprehensible service manual.

As he ate through a second platter, he read through an even more incomprehensible manual of microwave repair.

As he ate through a third platter, he read through a somewhat incomprehensible manual of advance electronics.

As he ate through a fourth platter, he read through a barely understandable beginners guide to electronics

After many long hours of study, he finally found the answer he sought and called to the computer, "Computer, order part #541295 from the Electronics Depot." Karex smiled to himself. In only two to six weeks, the part would arrive and he would be able to repair the microwave!

His honor satisfied, he trudged wearily over to the bed and took a nice long nap.

++++++++++

Judah decided to investigate the grumbling rumor he has over heard in the halls about their new visitor. It was painfully obvious this was very much a fish out of water, figuratively and literally speaking. He glances at the crew cleaning up what appears to be a massive spill of water in front of Karex's quarters and notices the familiar smell of... burnt electronics. Walking into the mealing quarters he spies a burnt indentation on the wall, a smoked outline of what appears to be a microwave shelf and the dishwasher smelled like boiled meat. Judah shakes his head and sighs, "at least Prime knew how to use the kitchen". He walks over the pantry, looking about he finds the perfect thing. Scooping up the entire supply of 2 cases he walks over to the drawer and gathers some forks.

Making his way he stops at Karex's quarters and sets the cases down placing the forks on top. Walking over the guard station he grabs a large piece of paper and draws a diagram of the opening procedure for the containers, simple enough with the pop top ring to pull the lid off of. "Karex, seeing as you are new to this planet I have brought you a gift in the form of a delicacy for humans. The cans are easy to open and the contents are best eaten at room temperature. Please enjoy and let chef know if you need more. Enjoy. By the way the item is known as Spam. It is a meat made from the rarest of all animals on the planet and is considered invaluable in some regions of our planet. Bon Appetite."

Judah smiles as he walks away seeing his good deed of the day is complete.

++++++++++

The Knight talks to Karex the next time he sees him in the halls. "Considering what you've put the base staff through, I would request on behalf of the rest of the Wardens that if you want anything, please tell us first so we can properly appraise you of whether it is possible or not. That way you will cause everyone involved considerably less stress."

Record Last Changed Date: 4/26/2009


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